Ani Zocher:
Pilgrims' Stories

Poland Seminar 2003,
by Shoshana Kohr, Seaboard

To tell you the truth... I cried on the way to the airport to catch my flight to New York. I was afraid of what I would face as I met 41 strangers that I would spend the next six weeks with. Sitting here months after my return I laugh at myself... I kick myself for all those years I neglected to give USY a second try after that one awful inter-chapter. I stare across my desk at the picture of our group at the Yitzhak Rabin YH and scan across each face, remembering each for unique qualities that made USY Poland/Israel Pilgrimage Group 5 all that it was. I look at each face and I can recall a time I laughed and I cried with each of them. With each face, I recall the different lessons I learned from each individual on that trip. Stories and inside jokes among the group come flooding back. I stop upon my face and realized that the person staring back at me has been forever changed by the people in the picture next to me. In that car on the way to the airport I felt so utterly unprepared for what I was about to face. And I was.

Nothing could have prepared me for Poland and the emotions it brought along. I was not prepared for the different reactions that flooded up inside me. Nothing could have prepared me, as what I had only read about in books suddenly appeared in front of me, real and unavoidable. I was not prepared for the sense of numbness that followed me through Sobibor, Auschwitz, and Majdanek. Nor was I prepared for our group to be spat upon and told to go back to Palestine. I was not prepared to have it all my emotions come crashing down on me on our first Shabbat in the Jewish quarter of Krakow. I did not expect to find the comfort I did in the 41 strangers I had once feared. They held me in their arms as I shook with tears, they asked if I was okay, and listened when I needed to talk. They were there to give me a hug and to tell me a joke or lighten the mood with their silly antics. I did not expect to hear so many stories of the courage, resistance, and the will to persevere that the men and women of the concentration camps demonstrated. Such strength and determination in not letting the Germans take what little they had left, inspired me and caused me to question whether I would have had that courage and strength to not give up. I did not expect learn of the vibrant lives of the Jewish Polish community and the many great Rebbes who lived there long ago. I did not expect to be found being pulled into a rousing hora around the grave of Rebbe Eli Melech in celebration of his life. I did expect the kindness of my peers to put up with my abysmal Hebrew reading skills, who with great patience taught me to lead Mincha for the first time.

After Poland, arriving in Israel was nothing like arriving as I had with my family five years before. Singing at the top of our lungs Em Tirsu and Am Israel Chai as we landed at Ben Gurion airport I realized how much we take Israel for granted. Here we were no longer the minority as we were in Poland. Here the boys could wear their kippot proudly instead of covering them with a hat in public. Here we had bathrooms with toilet paper and food besides the bread and chocolate spread we had lived off of in Poland. Here keeping Kashrut didn't mean prepackaged powdered soups. I realized Israel was where we could be ourselves and observe our traditions without the ridicule, comments, or question. During my five weeks in Israel I began to see Israel for its truly most amazing quality. It is the land that binds us as a people together. Whether we are American, Canadian or Israeli, Sephardic or Ashkenazic, Diaspora Jews or not, Orthodox or Secular, young or old, Israel is the place we all love and fight for. It is the land that binds us together as a people and it is this land that we must fight for.

I learned the joy and comfort that can be find in strong Jewish community. I witnessed the devotion and wisdom in which my fellow group members led services, gave Divrei torah, and taught shirim. I stood in awe and admiration at the knowledge they held and graciously shared with me. I developed an overwhelming passion for our ruach sessions that were unparalleled in their amount of spirit.

I was given the chance to experience Israel, in all its history, beauty, and magnificence. I stood in the trenches on Ammunition hill where our soldiers brilliantly fought in the Six Day War and I stood in Independence hall and listen to Ben Gurion declare Israel a state. I davened overlooking some of the most beautiful sights in the entire world. I sat on the balcony at Beit Nativ singing late into the night about the glory and beauty of Israel and Judaism during an impromptu ruach session. Six weeks later, with 41 amazing friends, I visited the Kotel one more time.

The friendships I developed on this trip are like none of my others. Over those six weeks our group bonded and shared experiences that none of us will ever forget. Each taught me lessons I will carry with me forever and I know if I am ever to need a friend USY Poland/Israel Pilgrimage Group 5 will have my back.

I cried on the plane ride home and let tears silently fall as I drove to my house. They were tears of happiness for all I had gained and experienced. I cried, afraid that my longing to be back in Israel with group 5 would overtake me... and there are moments many months later that it still does. I made the trip from darkness to light and for that I am forever changed.

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